Category: Wedding

I stole this from Bridezilla. It is so odd, I have to comment on it.

Can someone explain that picture to me? I mean, I kinda get it. You have a young Japanese woman holding an engagement ring and wearing a high tech corset. And it has a clock on it. And something between the cups that looks like a knob for a door handle. I’m not entirely sure a gal could find a shirt or a dress that wouldn’t make her look like she has three nipples. Oh. And there’s a pent to sign marriage contracts with. And the knob is really a holder for an engagement ring that plays “The Wedding March” when you put a ring in there. There are no words.

Actually, there are plenty of words. This can’t be real. In fact, I know this can’t be real. First off, it’s completely unpractical and you can’t wear it UNLESS it’s part of some bachelorette games. I could totally see women being forced to wear this during their “last single night” out. I’d love to see a group of gals surrounded a bride-to-be wearing this at Mugs and Jugs, drinking drinks, eating chicken wings, and singing karaoke. Though I wouldn’t want to sit next to that table. After hearing “The Wedding March” played for the tenth time, I’d probably want to slap someone.

Actually, I just read Etsy Wedding and wait for my fiancee to send me a link about something nice she’s seen. It’s a good way to pretend to be Martha Stewart when I’m really spending my time seeing which celebrity broke up with who. I spend too much of my time on the internets.

Anyways, Etsy Wedding posted their list of Top Ten Men’s Vintage Items of Etsy. I’m not really into the whole vintage craze. It’s always struck me as a way to raid your grandmother’s closet and charge several hundreds of dollars for clothes that smell like old people. I know some people can really make it work though. And I do know that vintage weddings are very trendy right now (though it seems to costs a lot of money to do it right). And if you love old cars, it’s hard to not have a vintage mind set. So, out of the list of ten, I liked 3.

Diamond Cut Cuff Links

Diamond Cut Vintage Cuff Links. You can never have too many cuff links. I like the cut and the design. I have a feeling that, when place on the wrist, the cut is going to go well with the natural contours of the forearm, wrist, and hand. And even though the cut is vintage, the design is classic which means it would work for most tuxes and suits. I like these quite a bit.

Tiger Print Swim Shorts

Manhattan Tiger Print Swim Shorts. To be honest, I couldn’t wear these. I carry all my weight in my giant thighs (I’m short and stocky sadly) but I like the look. Getting away from swim shorts either being speedos or baggy shorts is a nice trend to see. These shorts would fit well, be slimming next to the body – as long as you can avoid the muffin top. Guys having a muffin top is gross. I’m not sure exactly why these are considered wedding related but it’s a nice touch after all.

Bowtie

Big Bow Tie. I won’t be wearing a bow tie at my wedding. BUT, if I was going to, I would rock something that looked like this.

Well, one side of it.

It’s always a good thing when one of your great uncles, who is in ill health and has been struggling for years, can stop smiling at your fiancee and says that she’s very pretty. I never really requested or demanded my family’s support with my choice in fiancee but it’s very good thing to receive.

So, yeah, my fiancee and I took a weekend trip to Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love and the city where my mom was raised. Most of my mother’s family still lives (or is buried) in that area. Norristown, Fort Washington and Upper Dublin is where her clan thrives. We were fed cheese steaks, pasta, zepplins and home made deliciousness. We met my uncle’s new dog, saw my cousin play in her last game of the JV softball season, and I discovered that my fiancee is extremely good at Gin Rummy. It was a perfect little trip.

I’ve never really sought approval from my family when it came to my fiancee. I didn’t go out looking for a girl who my family would fall in love with. Instead, I went looking for the girl who’d be right for me and if my family loved her too, great. If not, well, that would be their loss. Does that make me stubborn and pompous sometimes? Of course – there is a monster in a tux on this page after all. But I don’t like having external, and what I view as unnecessary, pressures when it comes to my personal life. And having high strung parents, when it comes to my fiancee and my wedding day, would just be something I wouldn’t put up with. But it is very nice when my family does like my fiancee and they really do. They couldn’t stop mentioning how pretty she was, how nice she was, and how outgoing she was. They would compare her to my sister-in-law in admiringly ways. And she won them over by being herself, didn’t need to pretend to be kind or considerate or anything like that. She spoke her mind, was kind as she always is, and I saw how well she fits into my extended family. That was nice to see.

My great uncle Tony, at a Mother’s Day brunch that my uncle, aunt, cousins, and mom were at, after saying that my fiancee was pretty, then wondered who were left to get married. My cousins are 15 and 13 and we all looked at them. My fiancee mentioned her younger cousins who are available. For a minute there, my uncle Mike took my fiancee seriously. I could see the look of horror about BOYS appear on his face for a minute. But then my fiancee mentioned they were in Florida and the look on his face mellowed. If I end up with daughters, at least I know that look, that specific look, runs in the family.

These have been sitting in my RSS reader for a week now and I still haven’t commented about it so I might as well just link it. I need to write up a post about my weekend in Philadelphia with my family where my fiancee met a large chunk of my extended family for the first time. I’ll do that after I go to the gym.

Luna Photography

I agree 100% with Manolo for the Brides that Luna Photography of San Diego takes beautiful pictures. It is photographers like this that inspire me to continue to practice and try to get better at my craft. It’s a little too artsy for my fiancee’s taste but just perfect in my opinion.

Design Whimsy

My fiancee found Design Whimsy on Esty. I blogged about it. She blogged about it. Now everyone keeps blogging about them. They have a backlog throughout the summer. Argh. I hope it doesn’t get too late for my fiancee to place her order for our wedding. People need to stop liking the same high quality things I like until after I am finished with them!

She already has her dress. She has her veil. She already knows where she’s getting her bouquet from and when she’s going to order it. She’s got her something old too. Oh. And she picked out the head piece for our reception. Then, yesterday, to my shame, she had her shoes delivered to her house. She is on a roll people.

I got nothing.

Okay, that’s not true. I have my shoes, my cufflinks, and I’ve got my little piece of metal to put in my shirt collar (which my fiancee got me for my birthday – they’re engraved with our wedding date). But that’s it. I was planning on picking up a suit by getting one custom made by the folks at Barney’s. Since I’m small and thin and in pretty good shape, no mass produced suit will fit me at all. Even small European cut suits are too big. Plus, at close to 1000 a pop (which is a great price), and my recent month long furlough from my job, the idea of buying a custom suit right now is really not a high priority right now. In fact, I don’t think I really can afford it.

Which means I’m going to have to rent a tux. But what kind? And from where? And what style? I’ve mentioned in some earlier posts what I’m going to aim for, something less traditional but formal, no vest or cumber bum or anything too frou frou. It has to look good with a skinny ivory tie and have a spot for a pocket square. And it needs to be a modern fit which means tapering down the sides, a nice tight and snug fit across the stomach and side and not be so high waisted that I look like a smaller version of urkel when I take off my jacket. Oh Lord, I have a lot of requirements. I really should get the ball started on that.

And I know I need to work on this. But all I really want to do is look at pictures of candy buffets and dream about buying a marco lens so I can do that. Alas. Maybe if I win the lotto.

I don’t buy this list of five current feminist bridezilla trends. And why? Because they’re kinda lame.

I understand the name change issue and I support it. If you don’t want to change your name, that’s fine. If your husband doesn’t want to change his name, that’s fine too. If your some how believe that making up a new name in any way is different than changing your last name to match your future spouses, you’re probably diluting yourself, but I support it anyways. I can buy the name change as a feminist trend.

However, I completely disagree that taking the pictures BEFORE the ceremony as a feminist trend. Is this the trend to combat the “don’t reveal your dress before the big day” thing? Is that really a part of the patriarchy that demands fighting against? Or is this really just an attempt at embracing good time management skills? The thing about weddings is that they are a cultural institution that changes. Couples getting their wedding pictures taken before the ceremony are doing that so they can free up time at the reception. And why do they need that time? So they can participate in having signature drinks available to their guests, a 12 course meal, dancing till dawn, and then a special midnight snack for their after party. So it’s almost a trick for brides to spend more money on the reception. Hmmmm.

And that brings me to Mangagement rings. I know a guy who’s worn one. For some brides, it’s very important that they propose, that they own the process, and that they aren’t surprised. And, hopefully, when they find the right guy to marry, he’ll be accepting of her needs and either won’t care about proposing or won’t mind not being the one to do the asking. Encouraging women to not be afraid to say “I want to get married” is a good thing. But there’s something about mangagement rings that bothers me. I use to think I’d wear one and I probably would have if it came to that. Who wouldn’t want to wear a fabulous piece of man jewelry? I guess I’m wondering if this is a one way trap. If the men get rings but the women don’t, that seems less about equality and more about trying to mix struggles against the patriarchy within your own engagement (and this concept of equality and what that means is something that I, as a person who advocates equal treatment to mexicans and latinos and other racial minorities, is something I struggle with defining and relating to people who don’t necessarily agree with me all the time). But if it’s merely a two way street, where the woman gets the ring, the guy gets the ring, and both are labeled as “taken” and, if you’re in New York State, both rings become legal contracts to say that you’re going to marry each other – which all engagement rings technically are here – then I think it’s a fantastic idea. It’s an extension of the New York Manhattan Bride trend of giving your guy an engagement gift like, say, a really expensive watch. Or, what I want, a really big plasma screen tv. Though that might be a pain in the ass to carry around in my hand all day long.

Is that weird?

Yesterday, I called/met up with several friends I hadn’t seen in awhile and they all asked me (and my fiancee) how our wedding planning was going. And, to be perfectly honest, I probably could talk about it all day long. In fact, I almost did. I’m not necessarily one of those guys who will get obsessive about HIS DAY and talk about all the planning their doing but I don’t might chatting it up when asked. And people like to ask.

But since my fiancee and I are at the lull point in our wedding process, I sometimes feel bad that I don’t have more to talk about. We’ve nailed the venue, the dress, the wedding bands, the reception hall. We’ve got the photographer. We know how our ceremony is going to work, how the place will look, and how we want the reception done. Our registry is mostly complete. Our guest list is pretty solid. The only thing left is the nitty gritty details and to actually do any DIY stuff for our candy buffet, reception decorations, and the like. Oh. And our counseling that we’re required to attend through our church (which we probably should start rather soon since our current pastor – who I consider a friend – is leaving in a few months).

But probably the big thing that makes wedding planning rather easy right now is that both my fiancee and I don’t have any family pressures. My parents are laid back and just want to know when the date is, how the planning is going, and they’ll show up with bells on. My fiancee’s family is the same. Her family is excited about coming to New York, visiting the city, seeing us, and watching my fiancee and I get married. We have no stress over who we should invite. We have no stress over how the wedding should look or be done. No one is trying to reign in how our big day should function. And that’s 80% of all wedding drama that is reported out there. If your family is laid back, wedding planning is sort of a joy.

Though I do realize that not all families are like ours. Some families take weddings very seriously and believe in being heavily involved. These weddings, in my opinion, tend to be weddings where the “joining of families” can be a big deal. They’re also weddings where the wedding drama isn’t just restricted to just weddings – everyone has been pretty annoying/dramarific in every aspect of each other’s lives since day one. However, because it’s MY BIG DAY, brides to be and grooms to be seem to forget all the past problems and believe that their families are trying to ruin their big day. That’s not true – they’ve been involved in your drama since day one. Some brides to be should build that into their own planning/wedding expectations but most don’t. It’s like how many brides-to-be aren’t happy with their engagement rings but they refuse to tell their fiance’s what rings they want. They want to be surprised, they want the ring to be perfect, and they have a vision in their head that they want matched. They’ll put up with less, of course, but that doesn’t mean they’re happy about it. I find that to be a kinda lame way to live.

So the next thing on our wedding list is my fiancee’s shoes. She has an idea of what she wants and she notices that not many stores carry what she would like. Remember how I bitched about sleeveless wedding dresses? Same thing is going on with open-toe shoes. I understand that the world revolves around trends but you think, with 300 million people in the US, other options would exist. Ah well.

TMZ loves Weddings

Or maybe they’re just running out of ways to make money on celebrity gossip since Britney no longer shaves her head every day. TMZ wants wacky wedding reception photos. They’re looking for marital mayhem. That sounds like a good name for a husband and wife wrestling tag team. If I get laid off, this might be a new career goal I need to follow.

Salma Hayek’s wedding dress was kinda expensive

It cost at least $500,000 dollars. I don’t think the girls on the knot would appreciate Salma having two weddings (even a party afterwards still counts as a wedding to some people) but they probably would approve of her dress. And her body. And the fact that she’s worth a lot of money and is marrying a billionaire. But her 2nd wedding? Totally tacky even if it was in Venice.

Free Save the Date Vintage Postcards

Just because I’m not doing STD’s doesn’t mean I won’t link to them.

Engagement 101

Engagement 101 is a magazine for the pre-engaged couples. Well, that’s what it claims. What it really is, is a magazine for women who like to hang out on “Waiting to be engaged” message boards and spent their days “hoping” that today is the day their boyfriends propose. And that’s kinda the whole problem with it. If the guy is suppose to propose, a magazine directed towards women about the pre-engagement process won’t fly (because isn’t pre-engagement already filled with magazines such as Cosmo, Glamour, etc?). However, if the magazine was able to propel these women who want to engaged to get off their butts and actually propose to their boyfriends instead, then maybe I could see it being a valuable resource. But can you really reprint the same article every month that just says “PROPOSE ALREADY. HE CAN’T READ YOUR MIND. IF YOU WANT IT, ASK.”?

What if Christian Siriano designed several random celebrity wedding dresses? I bet that’s a question everyone asks (okay, to be honest, I never have) so Brides.com got Christian to sketch some designs for some custom wedding dresses.

Uma Thurman

Rachel Bilson

Amy Adams

Zooey Deschanel

The dresses are simple, sleeveless (sadly but, these are actresses – they could actually fit into these dresses correctly), and that seems to annoy some people but I think Christian Siriano has the right idea. Why wear a dress that is going to overpower the frame that is wearing it? I think most guys understand that brides are suppose to be the focal point of the big day. We realize that a dress, the ceremony, the makeup, the hair, the photography, and everything else revolves around the bride. So, if that’s part of the wedding ritual, why should the dress be so “ground breaking” as to be the star of the show? It should enhance the bride and not be a distraction from it. There’s a reason why models are suppose to be thin and walk a certain way on the runway. You’re suppose to notice the clothes and not the person wearing them. And if the wedding dress becomes to ornate, the bride becomes some nameless individual walking down aisle. Everyone might know her name but there is going to be a look, or a feeling, that something isn’t quite right and guests (and the groom’s) eyes are going to be pulled away from HER and instead directed at the dress that she’s wearing.

For some brides, this might be the only day of their lives where they get to feel like they’re part of a runway show. But they need to pull back and focus on fit and framing and details. Like I tell myself, the small details are what’s going to be noticed in my tux and suit when I go talk to people during the reception. Those details on the bride’s dress should only be noticed when the dress is examined up close later. If a bride doesn’t want that, then their groom should be allowed to wear a see-through bodice with his tux. This is the 21st century after all; fashion cuts both ways.