[Jesus and his friends] left that place and went to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan. And crowds again gathered around him, and, as was his custom, he again taught them.
Mark 10:1-16
Some, testing him, asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her.” But Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote this commandment for you. But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Then in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
People were bringing children to him in order that he might touch them, and the disciples spoke sternly to them. But when Jesus saw this, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not stop them, for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs. Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.” And he took them up in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them.
My sermon from the 20th Sunday after Pentecost (October 6, 2024) on Mark 10:1-16.
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A few weeks ago, a thread on comic book twitter wondered why we read superhero comics in the first place. Superheroes have been around since the 1930s and spending time with these fictional characters in spandex can be a fun mental escape from a world where life can feel very complicated and small. For some comic book fans, superheroes remind them of how they felt as kids – with a bit of nostalgia providing fuel for an imagination where everything is possible. Others, however, form such an intense relationship with these characters that they feel a sense of ownership over these characters they didn’t create. For these kinds of fans, the time, energy, and money they invested in these characters give them say over what these cape wearing drawings say and do. They have, over time, created a certain kind of lore and mythology for these characters in their heads that become the only box they’re allowed to operate in. If a creator or publisher tries to take these fictional characters in a different direction or act as if new people might want to read these comics too, these fans don’t simply move on and accept that not everything is made for them. They, instead, post, rage, and bully these creators that can include physical threats. Those who act this way claim they’re saying these characters from those who don’t know or respect them like they should. But the truth is that these fans lack the courage, imagination, or care to trust these characters as being more than the boxes they’d put them in. Trying to box things or people in isn’t something people only do with pop culture media we consume. It’s also something we often try to do to the people around us. Today’s reading from the gospel according to Mark is one of those moments when people tried to box Jesus in and he, in response, simply told them: “no.”
Now before we get into the meat of Jesus’ words, we need to remember where we are in the story. We know, based on what we heard last week, that the disciples were struggling finding a box to put the Messiah in. Jesus, realizing their struggle as well as their own doubts about their place within the kingdom of God, invited a little child to be at the center of their conversation. This child, who could give them nothing of material or social value, was just as important to what Jesus was up to as these disciples who had been present at every miracle Jesus had done. Those following Jesus had a responsibility to notice who God is for and how God is for them too. So after pushing against the ways the disciples were trying to box Jesus in, Jesus’ next stop across the Jordan River involved someone in the crowd attempting to box him in too. We’re told that he was asked a question by someone trying to test him. But I don’t think this test was, necessarily, only about trying to get Jesus to share the so-called right answer. It was, rather, an attempt to see which box Jesus fit in since the different flavors of Judaism at the time thought about divorce in diverse ways. Those around Jesus were aware of what he could do and how some of what taught agreed with some while upsetting others. He was a religious leader people, including the disciples, struggled to connect to their own thoughts and expectations about God, faith, and life in the world. They had created their own kinds of spiritual boxes full of different teachings, sayings, and theological reflections that gave them a sense of ownership over what living faithfully might mean. These mental boxes not only made them feel like they got God but also gave them tools they could use to engage with whatever Jesus said and did. Their understandings would serve as a way to celebrate or push back against what Jesus was up to. But when we’ve already decided what God will say, it’s nearly impossible to truly listen to what God actually says. Jesus refused to be put into the boxes created by those who followed and challenged him. Instead, he shaped his words about divorce through the lens of what immediately happened before – and after this section. If we pull Jesus’ words out of context, we’re left with a saying that we then try to fit into whatever boxes about marriage and love and relationships we’ve created. But when we leave scripture in scripture, we see how Jesus’ care for the vulnerable was at the heart of what he shared. In the ancient world, and even today, divorce can disproportionately impact some more than others. Women, and often children, are left without the financial, social, and cultural security they need to thrive. Men, in Jesus’ time, were the ones who decided how long a marriage would be. And when we see the people next to us as expendable in any way, then their humanity becomes lost in whatever value we try to extract from them. Jesus’ throwback to the Genesis story isn’t focusing on the length of the relationships we have but rather that our identity rests in the image of God we were made in. Jesus is not interested in hypothetical conversations about the relationships we dream in our head. He cares about real people living lives that are often complicated, joyful, difficult, full of sadness, and bliss. The relationships we have aren’t usually easy to box into any single mold or experience. But when we see one another as those who bear the image of God – we do more than simply treat each other with a little more respect. We also begin to see just how big, inclusive, loving, supportive, and caring we – because of Jesus – get to be.
Relationships, though, are hard and they won’t always last. Choosing to be with – and for – one another rarely resembles whatever Romcom, Hallmark Movie, comic book, or fantasy we try to box everyone of our relationships into. Relationships often require us to be vulnerable, to admit our mistakes, to own our failings, and to journey with people who will never fit every one of our expectations. Being together requires us to let go of those boxes we put all our trust in so we can really connect to the person we’re actually with. This kind of work is difficult and there are times when the most holy thing we can do is to end a relationship that is not letting us – or the one we’re with – be who God has made them to be. This doesn’t mean, however, that relationships should be seen as expendable since no person, in Jesus’ eyes, ever are. We should be committed to one another – in our marriages, friendships, and communities as Jesus is committed to us. We are called to see one another as Jesus sees us – worthy of love, connection, and life that includes those around us since we all carry with us the image of God. And when we find ourselves trying to box people into our own expectations or letting their, or our, vulnerabilities serve as a reason for us to push them aside, Jesus reminds us of our commitment to those who can’t give us anything of value since he, immediately after these words about relationships, included and blessed the little children around them. When we recognize the image of God within those around us and that people are more than simply what they give or create, we begin to discover how Jesus always pushes us beyond whatever box we try to put faith in. We won’t get every relationship right and even when divorce is the most life-giving thing to do, what happens next can be complicated and complex. Yet the One who sees you, values you, and is with you promises that the boxes we try to put ourselves, our loved ones, and our God in – won’t be the limit of who we, through Jesus, get to be.
Amen.